take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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