I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
