you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
