I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize