My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
