I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
