So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
