That's intense
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
