Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
