I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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