Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
