two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
