i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
