Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
