Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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