how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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