I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
