Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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