the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I FOUND THE LEGS
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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