dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
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