he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
