I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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