how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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