I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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