can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
