well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
false alarm. still invincible.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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