I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I want to walk on stilts...naked
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize