So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
