mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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