Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
