you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
