we're blogging at a bar
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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