It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i think my cat just said my name.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
