I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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