I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize