Girls should come with a carfax report
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
