definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
