woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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