Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
