what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
