and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
