are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
