New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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