Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
PANTIES FOUND
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
