you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
