Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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