drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize