She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you would pick up someone in the library
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
sex in a hospital.. check
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
