Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize