PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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