how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
