Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
