why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
