Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
