He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
