i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize