Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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