while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize